Excuses FOr His Mistakes I'm Sorry
by Marrero9
Summary: A guys mistakes make him reazlie so much.


_**Excuses for his mistakes**______**I'm Sorry)**_

_**It's not like he didn't love me**__**…**___

**It's just he never told me.**** Every night it was always the same. I would wait for him to come home. Whenever, he would come home late at night, it was just ****for**** sex. He would fuck me till he was finish, not caring that I wasn't even there. He would then pull himself out of me and grab his clothes. He would let me lie there, and go off again. I would lie on the bed cold, alone, empty and useless. I would cry myself into a deeps lumber. Then when I would awake, I would notice the emptiness around me and in my heart. I would then just go onto my regular schedule. I would shower and began to clean and cook. He would never come home and when he did it was just for his meals. Soon after he had eaten he was gone again. He never spoke to me; he never even looked at me. It was like I was never there.**

_** It's not that I don't mind, it's just that I wish he would hold me, told me he loved me. **__**Cherish me**__**…**___

**But he will never do that, there was a time only once that he ever really showed his love. He held me close and I felt like he would never let go. But it seemed, that was the last time I would ever be that close. Years had passed, not much has changed between us. But one day he actually looked at me and smiled. It had been so long since he had smiled at me. My he****art jumped with such happiness, but like always it would never happen again and I knew that.**

_** It's not like he abused me or tortured me physically.**___

**But mentally, he was killing me. He was killing me from the inside. My heart was shattering into so many pieces. Each day that pass by, would be another day my heart died. Sometimes at night I would sit outside on the porch, watching the stars up above. I would always remind myself that he is like the full moon above. So close to me yet so far. I would reach my hand out to grab him, to grab him and never let go, to keep him with me always. But as soon as I try to wrap my fragile fingers around him, he always seems to be so much farther then I expected.**

_**It's not like **__**he is a heartless person**__**…**_

**It's just that at moments when I cry, he looks away. When I'm happy he shows no sign of caring. When I fall he never helps me up. When I need his help, he walks away. He never intends to hurt me; he never knows he does is all. He has a good heart. He just never shows it to me. **

_**It's not like he's embarrass of me**__**…**_

**It's because I embarrass him. In public he would never hold me; he would never tell his friends who I am. ****He needed no right to tell them who I was. He shouldn't waste his time on me. I don't mind so much being left behind as he talks to those around. I don't even mind that he hugs other women in front of me. I would just smile warmly and think its okay.**

_**It's not that he didn't realize it...**_

**It's just he never realized how much pain I was in. He never realized how much it hurt me. He never noticed me falling to the ground. He never knew how badly I wanted him near me as the ambulance took me away. He never knew that night I awaited to see him next to me. It's not like he never realized that I was suffering from cancer.**

_**It's not that he has no emotion**__**…**_

**He just chooses not to show them. He shows no emotion near me. Even as my last few seconds of life. He would just stare at my body, into my eyes. I would look into his stone eyes, searching for anything to find nothing. No emotion****, nothing at all. He would just sit there staring.**

_**It's not like he wanted me to go…**_

**It's just he didn't know I had to. As for my last few seconds of life I stare at the man I had love for so long and smiled warmly at him. It was then I whispered to him my last few words. Then finally the room went dark. My body went limp, my life had ended. **

_**It's not like he could have done anything…**_

**He just couldn't. He just stares at my lifeless body, and it was soon he realized what had happened. Slowly tears ran down his pale skin cheeks. His body trembled as he stared down upon what was once life. His hands, his warm hands had grabbed onto my lifeless cold ones. He held them as he cried. He cried so much, and one tear after another would fall from his eyes and onto my lifeless hand. He stared down at me, trying to keep calm but no matter how hard he tried it would never work. He then leaned forward and whispered the exact words I had spoken to him, then with that he softly kissed my chapped lips. Once he pulled away he had realized I was smiling, and for the first time after a while he smiled back. **

_**It's not that he didn't love me…**_

**It's just he didn't know how to. Now at night he would stare upon the stars, reaching out to the moon wanting it to be closer. He would reach and reach but would never get close. At night he would cry and with his blade he would cast upon himself another mark. He would ****watch the blood ****fall****t****o the ground along with his tears. **** At night he would remember the time's he had never held me, the time's he would never know I was there beside him. He had regretted everything. The time he never held me, the time he never told anyone of me, and the time he had let me die. Each night he would remember my last few words and would repeat them over and over. Finally one day he went to the bathroom and grabbed his blade. With that blade, he pierced the scared wrist and watches the blood fall. He then would use his finger and would rub the blood onto them and he soon began to write on the mirror in the bathroom. He wrote and wrote and finally when he had finished, his world went dark and he fell to the ground. All that was left was the blood stain message he left on his window, he had written the finally words of the person he loved. ****Her**** finally words, "I'm Sorry."**


End file.
